The 7 money chats every woman needs to have with their partner

The 7 money chats every woman needs to have with their partner


Alice Tapper, Go Fund Yourself founder and author, is here to tell you that financial heart to hearts are as essential to any long-lasting relationship as a box-set binge

money chats
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So you’re compatible, but are you financially compatible? It doesn’t matter what stage you are in your relationship, it’s never too late to do the money chat because more often than not when we’re thinking of potentially spending our lives with one person, too many of us ignore the cash factor. Do you want to buy a house, have kids, retire early? These take a huge amount of planning, and if you’re not on the same page or don’t share the same financial values, it’s no surprise money is one of the main causes of relationship breakdown. So it’s time to future-proof your relationship by having these seven conversations….

Chat 1. Let’s get financially naked

This is not about disclosing what you have early on in a relationship, this is about understanding your partner’s financial psychology. It’s vital you both get to know each other’s money baggage with questions such as: are you a spender, a saver, what are your financial weaknesses or vices. Interestingly, how a person grew up around money and what their parents were like about money has a big impact. So often we inherit beliefs and management skills about money from our parents. It’s getting to understand where your partner is coming from, so you have more empathy.

Chat 2. How will we manage our money?

According to latest research from Netwealth, women are increasingly choosing not to share their money with their partner. But that’s not right for everyone so I think it’s good to lay out the options:

  • Separate accounts and splitting all bills straight down the middle.
  • A joint account– where you both pile in everything and share all the expenditure
  • The hybrid option  – having a joint account for certain expenditure and within that account split responsibilities 50-50 or according to proportion of earnings.
  • An allowance model– this may sound old-fashioned but it can be a good way of managing your money in certain circumstances such as, one of you is not working (on mat leave or raising kids full-time or returning to education).

To be clear, there’s no right answer to this conversation and it may depend on who earns what, what feels fair and doesn’t create an unhealthy power imbalance. Remember you can switch up any time between these options.

Chat 3. What happens if we split up?  

No one wants to think about this one but as your relationship grows and you have with shared responsibilities, such as kids, a house, the cost of separation only increases.

Consider a pre-nup: Marriages are on the decrease, so think about protecting yourself and your partner. A pre-nuptial agreement sounds pretty terrifying and they aren’t for everyone but they are flexible and can be set up to suit your relationship, such as only protecting the assets you had before marriage. Entering into a pre-nup can be a hard thing to do but could be worth it if you have significant assets.

Unmarried couples beware: the law doesn’t protect cohabiting couples in the same way it does married couples and it’s often women who feel this most following a relationship breakdown. You can look at a cohabitation agreement and declaration of trust (used for property) to set out who owns what and in what proportion as well as laying out how you’ll split shared assets if the relationship were to breakdown.

If you’re considering a pre-nup, cohabitation agreement or declaration of trust, your first stepis to take advice from a family law solicitor. To maximise your chances of it being upheld in a court of law, both of you should seek independent legal advice. You can contact your nearest Citizens Advicefor help to find a solicitor.

Money chats

Chat 4. OK, we need to talk about debt

This is a difficult and emotional topic, as so much shame surrounds it but it’s a hugely important one. It massively impacts any shared life decisions you make for the future and any shared money goals. Once you’re financially linked to somebody whether it’s a joint bank account with an overdraft facility, a mortgage, a credit card, their credit rating will affect yours. This means any debt accrued by one can seriously affect the other person’s credit score. You can look at who you are financially linked to by looking at your credit report which is free to access.There are three main credit reference agencies: Equifax, Experian and TransUnion.

Chat 5. How we’ll spend it – or not

Even if you don’t have a joint account it’s still essential to agree on budgeting, working out how much you want to spend on shared experiences and how much is too much for you. Plus what are your financial priorities? What do you want to spend on a date night, for birthdays and so on. Have a budget and stick to that agreement. This is all about compromise, trust and what you’re happy spending money on together.

6. Who’s doing the boring bill stuff?

This is financial admin andwho is responsible for paying the utility bills. There are apps, such as Splitwise which let you record and split joint expenditure. Plug in the details and let it do the maths for you. Or you may decide to have a joint account strictly for bills only. Standing orders are great for this, and for reimbursing on time. Inevitably there is always someone in the relationship who ends up taking care of more of this stuff, which is why it is vitally important and it’s usually a gender issue, do not be left ignorant to all your joint financial details.

Have a financial check-in on a monthly basis: It’s empowering and also really important that the other person knows what the passwords are and where all the financial assets are. Be responsible and keep on top on things.

7. What does our financial future look like?

What is it that you really want from your life? A great way of doing this is to break down your financial goals into: short-term (0-2 years), medium (2-5 years) and long-term is 5 years plus. These goals will include, do you want to buy a house, is saving for a deposit your big priority or do you want to spend years travelling the world? It’s all about asking each other should we be saving together for long, medium or short-term goals and how are we going to do that.

So, what about mortgages: are you saving together, looking at shared ownership schemes, or save to buy schemes? There are ways you can both benefit if you’re saving for a deposit. If you were to both open a Lifetime ISA , you could each benefit from a 25% government bonus each year. You can each put in up to£4,000 a year meaning you’d both receive a 1k bonus from the government. You can then use this towards your first home (so long as it’s £450,000 or less). Even if your partner isn’t a first-time buyer but you are, you can still open one and use your savings & bonus towards your new home.

And finally, pensions: are you both saving enough for your old age? Are you making the most of your employer’s contributions? Everyone has a pension unless you opt out of it or you are self-employed. If you are self-employed make sure you have one! It’s about contributing what you can. But the stark fact is no one is saving enough.

* For more financial inspiration you can find Alice on Instagram @go_fund_yourself_, www.gofundyourself.com and read her book Go Fund Yourself, £10.49, available on Amazon

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Patrick Ta Major Glow: is this the bougiest beauty line ever?

Patrick Ta Major Glow: is this the bougiest beauty line ever?


Sure, but count us in

With a setting fan to speed-dry your highlighter, the Patrick Ta Major Glow line is make-up so bougie you’ll wonder why Mariah Carey didn’t think of it. It’s also so good at creating skin as lustrous as a raven’s wing that we’re calling it one of the best highlighter lines out there.

We’re in good company if Ta’s instagram account is anything to go by. Countless celebrities from Gigi and Bella Hadid to Karlie Kloss and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley have been on the receiving end of one of his glow-overs.

Now everyone can recreate Ta’s signature dewy skin from head to toe. Yes, we do mean all over the body as two of the products are designed for below the jawline.

The jasmine-scented Patrick Ta Major Glow Body Oil spray comes in three shades –‘A Dream’ (pale champagne), ‘A Vision’ (warm rose) and ‘A Moment’ (deep bronze) – to give skin a pearlescent glow while vitamin C stimulates collagen production and squalene moisturises without greasiness.

Buff it in using the Patrick Ta Body Brush – basically a super-sized highlighter brush.

Patrick Ta Major Glow Body Oil, £48, Cult Beauty

Patrick Ta Major Glow

Buy it now

Patrick Ta Body Brush, £32, Cult Beauty

Patrick Ta Major Glow

Buy it now

The other is the Patrick Ta Major Glow Highlighting Mist, which can be used on the face and body and instantly rocketed to the top of our wishlists.

You’ll have to trust us on this one, but the Highlighting Mist is really easy to spray onto the high points of your cheekbones and temples or on collarbones and shins. It’s glitter free so skin looks naturally lit from within while argan oil and lavender work with other emollients to create a hydrating glow.

Better still, the mist is so fine that there’s no chance of overdoing it with a chrome strobe or water splotches ruining your foundation whether you go with Look At Her (a white pearl shade), We Love Her (pink pearl), or We Need Her (gold pearl).

Patrick Ta Major Glow Highlighting Mist, £28, Cult Beauty

Patrick Ta Major Glow

Buy it now

Admittedly, there’s nothing that isn’t extra about Patrick Ta’s Major Glow She’s Extra Setting Fan.

But before you dismiss it as a gimmick, think of all the beauty uses a fan can have. You can set make-up speedily, thereby avoiding smudged cat-eyes and half-dried concealer. You can aid precision when highlighting by covering your eyes with the fan so you target just the cheekbones. And – obviously– it will keep you cool next time a heat wave strikes so your gorgeous glow doesn’t turn into a sweaty mess.

Patrick Ta Major Glow She’s Extra Setting Fan, £21, Cult Beauty

Patrick Ta Major Glow

Buy it now

Finish with a slick of the Patrick Ta Major Glow Lip Shine in universally flattering hues of She’s Expensive (cool pearl), She’s an Influencer (warm rose), and Is She Younger Than Me? (peach) and you’re all set to glow like a Hadid.

Patrick Ta Major Glow Lip Shine, £19, Cult Beauty

Patrick Ta Major Glow

Buy it now

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Could #VANLIFE be the right life for you?

Could #VANLIFE be the right life for you?


Instagram is full of life hacks and #goals, but there is one particular hashtag redefining the idea of a home and inspiring a new generation of nomads

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Words by Claire McCrory

With over six million tags #VANLIFE sees people sharing images of their kitted-out vans- think a VSCO version of ‘Pimp My Ride’.

There are also many YouTube channels dedicated to documenting the van lifestyle, one of the most notable is Jennelle Eliana, a twenty-year-old boasting nearly two million subscribers, despite having only posted her first video three months ago. Jennelle posts van tours and everyday life, such as the practicalities of showering whilst living in a van.

Although a house on wheels is not a foreign concept for Brits, with VW camper vans  and caravans being a traditional summertime favourite for many- with 550,000 touring caravans in use in the UK. Moving a step beyond holiday home and taking up permanent residence in a converted van is becoming an ever-growing trend.

The Office of National Statistics suspects that half the UK workforce will be working remotely by 2020, so by that logic, it makes sense that one might choose the added flexibility that comes with #vanlife.

Simon Doran, 29 and Dee Barber, 28, from Hampshire hit headlines recently with their #VANLIFE . They spent £14,000 transforming a builder’s van into their home. They say living in the van full time saves them £900 a month and have subsequently started a business converting vans for other people. In fact, Simon claims he’ll never go back to a 9-5 job,’ I wouldn’t give up the freedom this gives us’.

 

In the age of ‘insta-envy’  some people are constantly inspired to break out of their daily routine online. Maybe the modern nomadic, #VANLIFE is the most practical way to get out of the rut of a daily routine, and get a few good Insta pics along the way.

 

Getty Images

 

story by Claire McCrory

 

 

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Northern Ireland has officially legalised abortion and same-sex marriage

Northern Ireland has officially legalised abortion and same-sex marriage


The landmark changes came into effect at midnight

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Same-sex marriage and abortion became legal for the first time ever in Northern Ireland today.

The changes came as a result of legislation that was passed by MPs in Westminster back in July, during a Commons debate aimed at keeping Northern Ireland up to date with UK human rights law in the current absence of its government.

It was agreed that if the Northern Irish government had not been reformed by 21stOctober, then the respective bans on equal marriage and abortion would officially be lifted.

The first same-sex marriage ceremonies are set to take place by Valentines Day 2020, with the government being given up until the end of March next year to come up with regulations for the provision of abortion services.

The progressive changes came just one day after the DUP returned to the Northern Irish parliament, after what has been almost a three year absence, to protest against abortion being legalised. DUP leader Arlene Foster lead the charge by announcing that the party would explore every possible legal optionopen to it to ensure that the amendment did not pass.

But as of midnight today, it did, and same-sex couples and women alike have been celebrating the historical changes since, with grassroots organisation Room For Rebellion posting this defiant pic on its Insta page to celebrate Northern Irelands progression.

Same-sex couples and marriage equality campaigners also gathered yesterday at the Merchant Hotel in Belfast to welcome the change, by eating wedding cake and surrounding themselves with flowers, balloons and colourful signs which read equal.’ The event was organized by the Love Equality campaign group.

What a memorable day for Northern Ireland!! Now just time to get that government back together

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Tifanny & Co's advent calendar is the most extra thing we've ever seen

Tifanny & Co's advent calendar is the most extra thing we've ever seen


Let’s be honest, chocolate calendars just don’t cut it anymore. Not when you have luxe beauty calendars (hello Jo Malone), Harry Potter advent calendars, Missoma jewellery calendars and even cheese advent calendars.

And then there is the Tiffany & Co advent calendar, a calendar so extra and exclusive that there are only two available in the world, and one of them is in the UK. Oh and it’s yours for a cool £104k.

The calendar itself resembles the iconic New York  5th Avenue store, painted in the classic robin egg blue hue. Behind each of the 24 doors lies a luxurious gift in a box, tied with a red ribbon, for that extra festive touch.

Whilst we don’t have a list of all of the treats, we do know there diamond pendants and earrings, a watch, rose gold and diamond bracelets, as well as non jewellery items such as a pen, perfume and a harmonica.

So if you add it all up, it’s probably good value, you know if you’ve got £100k just lying around, waiting to be spent.

The calendar will be available at Harrods from 9th November, and we can imagine it’ll be top of everyone’s wish list.

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Harry and Meghan might have to 'renounce royal privileges' if they move to South Africa

Harry and Meghan might have to 'renounce royal privileges' if they move to South Africa


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Credit: Chris Jackson / Staff / Getty

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s latest documentary, Harry & Meghan: An African Journey, showed the couple in a completely different light. While the Duke and Duchess of Sussex usually appear confident and happy in front of the cameras, they opened up about what life is really like behind the scenes with Meghan admitting she is struggling with the pressures of being a newlywed and new mum in the spotlight and Harry addressing the Prince William ‘feud’ rumours.

The documentary was compared to the explosive Panorama interview with Princess Diana in 1995, with royal correspondent Victoria Arbiter calling it ‘perhaps the most insightful interview that we’ve had from a member of the royal family since [Diana’s] … which she really laid her emotions bare.’

During the documentary Harry and Meghan hinted that they may move to South Africa, with the prince telling Tom Bradby: ‘I don’t know where we could live in Africa at the moment. We’ve just come from Cape Town, that would be an amazing place for us to be able to base ourselves, of course it would.

While royal expert Victoria called it a ‘lovely idea’ she also claims it is unlikely for a number of reasons.

‘In the documentary, Meghan talks about the grass always being greener, but there are logistics that come into play when you’re a member of the royal family,’ Victoria explained to The Express.

‘Some of them are a little bit more obvious, so they move to South Africa, so who pays for their security there? Yes, they’re both independently wealthy and they could support themselves there, but is the South African taxpayer suddenly paying for their security, or is the British taxpayer paying for that? Neither party are going to be particularly happy.’

She also expressed concern over the impact on the rest of the royal family, who may see the move as favouritism, adding: ‘Harry and Meghan’s first responsibility is to the 16 nations for which the Queen is head of state – South Africa’s not one of them.

‘It is a Commonwealth nation, but then there are 53 total members of the Commonwealth, so then there’s accusations of favouritism if they’re spending time in South Africa.’

There have been several rumours that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex are planning to leave the UK – it was reported months ago that they could go to South Africa, but many believe they could relocate to the US, while others have speculated that they could go to Canada.

Is a move on the cards for the couple?

Only time will tell…

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Kate Middleton secretly wore this Ghost dress on tour

Kate Middleton secretly wore this Ghost dress on tour


We saw a lot of Kate Middleton dressing like Princess Diana on her Pakistan tour last week, however it seems like we didn’t see all of her beautiful outfits, since an unseen picture of her on the trip just emerged on a fashion blog.

The picture shows the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge mingling at a reception held at the British High Commission. For the occasion, Kate wore a pale blue maxi wrap dress adorned with delicate floral motif.

Eagle-eyed fans managed to identify the brand as none other than British high-street favourite Ghost. The Avery wrap floral dress cost just £195, but has sadly sold out everywhere online from John Lewis to ASOS.

Shop now: ADORLEE DRESS for £175 from GHOST

However Ghost has plenty of similar styles on the site, including the Adorlee dress which you could totally layer over a cashmere roll-neck and team with white boots for now, swapping over for some wedges like Kate come summer.

Since returning from Pakistan, the Duchess has kept busy, editing her first ever Instagram post just this week, highlighting her visit to an SOS village in Lahore.

She wrote, ‘The community at the SOS village is built around family – and the best possible family you could imagine – where everyone comes together to nurture, love and protect the children in their care. These vulnerable children, many of who have come through traumatic circumstances, are nurtured in this caring environment and are able to form these quality relationships that they so desperately need to thrive. – Catherine’

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Everybody missed a sweet off-camera moment during the Harry and Meghan documentary

Everybody missed a sweet off-camera moment during the Harry and Meghan documentary


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Credit: Pool / Getty

Since Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s latest documentary aired this weekend, the couple has made headlines across the globe. During Harry & Meghan: An African Journey, Tom Bradby interviewed the Duke and Duchess of Sussex on a number of things and they decided to open up in a very unexpected way. Harry spoke about how flashing cameras reminded him of his mother’s death, he addressed the Prince William ‘feud’, and he spoke about how fiercely protective he is of his family and his determination to avoid ‘a repeat of the past’.

Meghan also spoke candidly about life in the spotlight, revealing that her friends warned her that British tabloids would ‘destroy’ her life, and giving an emotional interview admitting that she is finding it difficult to deal with the pressure and constant scrutiny of being in the public eye.

Their honest interviews have been compared to Princess Diana’s explosive Panorama interview in 1995, and it has been reported that William is now worried about them.

However, amidst all the controversy, many viewers missed a very sweet off-camera moment.

During one segment, Meghan talks about how inspiring their trip to Africa has been – but eagle-eyed viewers noticed that in the background Harry can be seen cuddling and rocking baby Archie Harrison to sleep in the reflection of a glass window.

The proud father beamed as he later revealed that little Archie was enjoying the trip, saying: ‘He was looking out the window. He has found his voice now and he was bouncing up and down. He was making more noise than he has ever made before and he is smiling the whole time.’

Cute.

Following the documentary, it was announced that Harry and Meghan are taking a break from public life to focus on their family.

A royal source told The Sunday Times: ‘The duke and duchess have a full schedule of engagements and commitments until mid-November, after which they will be taking some much-needed family time.’

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The Yankee Candle advent calendars are here and obviously they're a dream

The Yankee Candle advent calendars are here and obviously they're a dream


yankee candle advent calendar

Halloween is on its way, and with it comes a range of spooky beverages – a phantom frappuccino, Nightmare Before Christmas coffees and a pumpkin birthday cake latte no less – as well as some goodies for those of you who like to spend 31st October at home (think soaking in the bath with one of the Lush Halloween bath bombs and ignoring the trick or treaters. Sorry not sorry).

And that’s not all. There’s now a Yankee Candle Halloween collection so that you can fill your home with autumnal scents, from a citrus spice number to a sweet pumpkin offering (naturally).

But if you’re thinking further ahead and are planning to get your hands on an advent calendar, Yankee Candle has released their 2019 advent calendars – and what a fragrant treat.

First up there’s the tower advent calendar which holds two small jar candles, six wax melts, twelve tea lights, one votive holder, one gold snuffer and a gold wick trimmer. It’ll set you back £79.99 and is availably exclusively online – so you’d better be quick if you want the sweet scents and the pretty extras.

yankee candle advent calendars

Then there’s the Yankee Candle advent wreath, with 24 doors hiding a range of top tea lights including Pomegranate Gin Fizz, Candlelit Cabin, Evergreen Mist, After Sledding, Cinnamon Stick, Christmas Cookie, Snowflake Cookie and Christmas Magic. It also comes with a clear glass tea light holder, and it retails at £24.99.

yankee candle advent calendars

Finally, there’s the best selling Yankee Candle advent book which is a mix of tea lights and votive candles. The calendar folds out to reveal 24 doors and behind each one lies a selection of some new and favourite fragrances (plus a candle holder). The 12 votive candles include Crackling Wood Fire, All Is Bright, Frosty Gingerbread and Winter Wonder, and the tea lights include 12 candle lights include Icy Blue Spruce, Glittering Star and Warm Cashmere.

yankee candle advent calendars

With so many variations on offer, there’s something for everybody, and they all look like a nice bit of festive fragrant fun.

They’re currently available online, but if you want to get your hands on one you’ll have to be quick as they’re sure to sell out.

Go, go, go!

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Did you spot Kate Middleton's first ever Instagram post?

Did you spot Kate Middleton's first ever Instagram post?


We hope it’s the first of many!

Last week was a busy one for the royal family, as the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge visited Pakistan for a five-day tour – during which Kate Middleton gave her first televised interview since becoming a royal.

The Cambridges weren’t the only royals to make TV appearances last week, though. Meghan Markle admitted that she’s ‘not ok‘ in a documentary following their royal tour of Africa, which also saw Prince Harry address rumours of a feud between he and William. It was later announced that the Sussexes are taking a break from public life next month.

Following the ITV documentary, a source told the BBC that Prince William ‘is worried’ about his brother and wife.

But back to the Duchess of Cambridge, and it was something of a week of firsts for the mum-of-three. She also casually penned and posted her first Instagram post to the world – did you spot it?

Taking to the @kensingtonroyal account, which now has over 10 million followers, Kate posted a heartfelt message following the couple’s visit to an SOS village in Lahore, also the subject of her recent televised interview.

‘The community at the SOS village is built around family – and the best possible family you could imagine – where everyone comes together to nurture, love and protect the children in their care,’ she wrote.

‘These vulnerable children, many of who have come through traumatic circumstances, are nurtured in this caring environment and are able to form these quality relationships that they so desperately need to thrive. – Catherine’

It’s clearly a cause the duchess is very passionate about, as she personally signed off the message, much to the delight of royal fans everywhere.

We hope this is the first post of many we see from the duchess herself!

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