This is why people cheat, according to experts

This is why people cheat, according to experts


What?!

cheating

If you’ve ever been cheated on, you’ll know all about the heartbreak that comes with it. Celebrities have spoken about their experiences, too, with everyone from Sienna Miller to Taylor Swift opening up about how they reacted when their other halves were caught being unfaithful.

So why do people cheat? Why don’t people just end their relationship if they’re unhappy? What drives people to choose that option? These are questions that no one has ever had one answer to, namely because there are various reasons that people tread down Infidelity Avenue.

Plenty of research has been conducted to find out the whys – apparently, you’re more likely to be cheated on if you have a good sex life, or if they have one of these names.

But a new study has shed some more light on the reasons that people cheat.

According to research published in The Journal of Sex Research the number one reason for infidelity is ‘lack of love’.

The study surveyed 495 adults to find out why we cheat, and it has everything to do with the person doing the dirty. A staggering 70% of participants admitted that their eyes wandered as a result of feeling neglected in their relationship, sexually, emotionally or both.

An article by Women’s Health also found that women who have been unfaithful have acted on their impulses when they feel ignored or unloved.

Eva Longoria has some great advice for anyone who has been hurt in this way by their other half.

She said: ‘It wasn’t about who he chose. I had moments of like: “Okay, I’m not sexy enough? I’m not pretty enough? Am I not smart enough?”

‘Then I immediately stopped. “No, no, no — don’t start doing that.” Because you can get stuck in that cycle and you can carry that onto other things.’

Bottom line – if you’re feeling unhappy in your relationship, talk to your partner about it and deal with the situation like adults.

The post This is why people cheat, according to experts appeared first on Marie Claire.

This website removes your ex from your favourite Instagram photos

This website removes your ex from your favourite Instagram photos


Let them ruin your feed no more

eternal sunshine
Credit: REX/Shutterstock

Break-ups are often messy, painful and often involve a lot of Deliveroo.

But while memories fade, there’s a constant reminder of what once was whenever you look back at photos. Looking for a picture from your amazing trip to Italy? Your former SO is in them all. That picture from your sister’s wedding on your mum’s mantlepiece? Yep, there’s the ex again. And don’t even get us started on the social media delete debate.

If you’re struggling to get rid of your former lover Eternal Sunshine-style, guess what? It’s possible. Kind of. A new service, Edit My Ex, can alter the photos you love to remove the person you don’t.

It has launched just in time for Valentine’s Day (romantic), and employs image editing experts to professionally remove ex-partners out of joint photos so that the image can be used in future.

From family gathering shots and holiday photos, to images of special occasions where an ex-partner was present, there’s no photo that can’t be retouched. All you have to do is upload the photo of your choice to the website and attach a note explaining who you’d like removed from the image. The professional designer will then edit the image and send you back your ex-free pic.

So what’s the cost? If you want your ex removed it’ll set you back £6.99 per photo.

Creator Mark Rofe said: ‘After presenting my friend with an ex-less image as a gift, I saw just how powerful the effect of removing an ex-partner from a favourite digital photograph could be.

‘As someone with a background in design, I thought that I could put my skills to good use to make someone going through a break-up smile, and with my team of designers, we can’t wait to start helping others regain their favourite photos without any unwelcome additions.’

Sold?

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‘My best friend killed her violent partner’

‘My best friend killed her violent partner’


When Fri Martin was convicted of murder, Heather Savage was one of the few people who knew about the years of abuse she had suffered. Here, Heather explains why she’s hoping for justice for her friend, and the children she’s raising on her behalf

violent partner

Your best friend is being beaten by her boyfriend but she’s made you promise not to tell anyone – ‘Please, Heather, I’m begging you to keep quiet,’ Fri had pleaded. So what do you do? You could call the police, but it’s your word against hers. You could tell her family, but she’d stop talking to them and be even more alone. All you can do is be there, tell her she needs to get away from him and hope that one day she’ll be ready to listen. There were times when Fri didn’t answer my calls, so I’d go round to her flat and knock on the door to check she was OK. Maybe part of me was scared her boyfriend would kill her. I never imagined it would be the other way round.

I can’t remember a time when Fri (short for Farieissia) and I weren’t joined at the hip. We went to the same nursery and same primary school, and she lived near my nan’s house. We felt like sisters more than friends. Fri was the outgoing one; she liked the limelight and I was happier in the background. At the school nativity play, she was the Angel Gabriel while I sat in the corner, jingling bells. But when it was just the two of us, we were always laughing. We grew up in a part of Liverpool where everyone knows everyone. Fri was well loved – she lived with her mum and three older brothers. They were a close family and I’d spend loads of time at her house. Her mum would cook us amazing Caribbean food. Fri was independent, outspoken and hated asking for help. She was also petite and immaculately turned out, with a mass of long, brown hair. Dancing was her thing and she dreamed of becoming a dancer, taking classes and, as we got older, teaching too. We used to talk about the flat we’d share one day, looking through catalogues to pick out our furniture.

Kyle Farrell, Fri’s partner, was local too. He went to our primary school, but he was quiet and kept himself to himself. He played football for a local team, so he was quite athletic, but he wasn’t someone who stood out. Fri thought he was gorgeous, though. They got together when she was 16 and you could tell she really liked him. She used to write me little notes saying ‘Heather Loves…? I Love… Kyle (obvs!)’.

We were young and I didn’t know much about their relationship, but I did notice certain things. In that first year, they were always splitting up and getting back together. 
Fri and I bumped into him in town after one break-up and Kyle started shouting at her, calling her a ‘slag’, then he pushed her – she had heels on and fell. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I began shouting and Kyle tried to go for me too. Afterwards, I told Fri she couldn’t go back to someone who put his hands on her like that. Her response was always the same: ‘But when you love someone…’ 
Fri dreamed of the happy ending. She’d even picked out her perfect wedding dress – shorter at the front and long at the back. When they got back together, she made Kyle apologise to me. It was the most unapologetic apology I’ve ever had. He and I never liked each other after that. I couldn’t just ‘un-see’ what he’d done.

‘Fri would show up with bruises on her face, black eyes or finger marks on her arms’

Kyle was jealous and controlling. When Fri started studying at a performing arts school, he would wait outside for her so that she didn’t walk past any lads on the way 
home. When we were out shopping together, his texts would flood in. ‘Where are you?’, ‘When are you coming back?’ Eventually, Fri stopped going into town and the furthest we were able to go was the local pub. Even then‚ Kyle would come and join us. Her mum was worried too, but Fri made me promise I wouldn’t tell her about the violence. Her mum told me she didn’t like Kyle and I admitted that I didn’t either. We were both trying to be there for her.

When Fri was 19, she stopped going to college and fell pregnant. I witnessed another horrible incident while we were walking down the street together. I can’t remember what Kyle was angry about, but he started accusing Fri of being with someone else, which she never was because she loved Kyle. Right in front of me, he kicked her in the stomach. She fell into the road in front of oncoming cars, and a big scene kicked off with me shouting at Kyle. I took Fri to hospital, but she didn’t tell doctors the truth – only that she’d fallen. In no time, Kyle was calling, saying how sorry he was and wanting to know if the baby was OK. From the outside, it made no sense. I kept telling Fri she needed to leave him, but we ended up arguing every time. She’d say that he’d promised to change. Fri had stood up for herself our whole lives, but it wasn’t my relationship. You’ll never know how somebody feels unless you’ve been through it.

Having two daughters with Kyle, born less than a year apart, and moving into a flat with him made things worse very quickly. They were living there for a year when Fri’s appearance started changing dramatically. She no longer made an effort, wore joggers, her hair back and no make-up. For the first time, she’d show up with bruises on her face, black eyes or finger marks on her arms, with always the same excuses. ‘I hit myself on the oven door,’ she said once. And I replied, ‘Do you think I don’t know you better than that?’ During that time, Fri also stopped using her phone so much. I’d call or text her asking, ‘Are you OK?’ And when she didn’t reply, I’d go round there afraid of what I might find. When Fri opened the door, Kyle was always in the background and she’d say something dismissive like, ‘Sorry, my phone was on silent.’ I felt like I was losing my best friend. And that strong, dance-loving, outgoing girl was losing herself. By now, her mum was as concerned as I was. She’d seen the bruises and the changes in Fri. She even took her and the girls away for a few days to the Lake District after Fri and Kyle briefly spit up, and Fri did begin to imagine a life without him. But when they returned, he wanted to see the girls, and soon they were back together.

At this stage, I was still living with my mum, training to be a dental nurse, but 
I worried about my best friend 24/7, lying in bed, thinking 
is she OK? Then, at 5am on 
21 November 2014, Fri’s mum phoned me hysterical, saying, ‘She’s killed him, she’s killed him.’ I couldn’t make sense of it, but headed to the family friend’s house where they’d gathered. Fri’s two daughters, aged just one and two, were there with her mum, three brothers and other family members. I was told Fri had killed Kyle and been arrested. I’d never seen her brothers, grown men, crying like that before. Nobody could make sense of it and I remember saying, ‘What did he do to her?’ Fri would never kill Kyle for no reason. I didn’t cry, or ask any questions; I was in shock. I offered to look after the girls at Mum’s house, where they stayed for a week before being taken into care. Thankfully, they were oblivious.

That was four years ago and I still haven’t asked Fri what happened that night. I’ve imagined it and I know enough; I don’t want the details. The short story is that Fri had been out with a friend, and when she got home she hadn’t bought Kyle the cigarettes he’d asked for. That’s how the row started, apparently. They were in the kitchen shouting – the girls were asleep – and Kyle had his hands tightly around Fri’s throat. She grabbed a kitchen knife from the counter and shouted at him to get off. He was taller, stronger, and leaning into her. It was a single stab to his heart. Fri called 999 and Kyle was taken away by ambulance but died in hospital.

‘She looked so helpless sitting in the dock, like a child, her feet not even reaching the floor’

The trial was in June 2015. Until then, I wasn’t allowed to visit Fri in custody because I’d been asked to give evidence for the defence. I’ll never forget being called into the courtroom and seeing her for the first time. She looked so helpless sitting in the dock, like 
a child, her feet not even reaching the floor. We both started crying as soon as we saw each other. I needed a minute to compose myself, and then 
I answered questions about what I’d seen. Both Fri’s and Kyle’s families were watching and you could feel the tension. Each time Kyle’s name was mentioned, Fri sobbed. The trial lasted two weeks and the jury took less than two hours to find Fri guilty of murder. Kyle’s family were there, wearing T-shirts with pictures of him on, and when they heard the word ‘guilty’, they cheered. I was with Fri’s family – we just hugged and cried. Fri sobbed in the dock as she was sentenced to 13 years.

Now her case has been taken up by the campaign group Justice for Women, an organisation that supports women who have killed violent partners. It has submitted grounds to appeal because Kyle’s long history of violence wasn’t explored in the trial by her all-male defence team. For the first time in three years, we’re feeling hopeful. I’ve since fostered Fri’s daughters. For the first year, they were with a foster family. The next step was for them to be given up for adoption. When I told Fri I’d do that, she said, ‘Are you sure?’ It’s a massive commitment – they’re with me until they’re 18 – but I’ve known them since they were born, so they’re like my nieces. Those girls are my life now – I’m not in a relationship and I don’t have children of my own.

They’re five and six, amazing girls, doing really well at school – the same one Fri and I went to. Watching them together reminds me of how we used to be, so carefree. They know their daddy is 
in heaven and that he’s not coming back. His body stopped working because mummy hurt it by accident and that’s why she’s in prison, or ‘the castle’ as they like to call it. They keep me focused and give me hope when it all feels hopeless. We visit Fri once a month. We’re all in the same room, but she has to stay seated. The girls sit on her lap, and we draw and read books. It’s the funny things that break your heart. The other day, Fri asked to see their feet because she hadn’t seen them since they were tiny. Every time we say goodbye, the children cry and that makes Fri cry, too.

Neither of us talks about what happened. You could go over it forever – ‘Why didn’t you listen?’ ‘Why didn’t you help?’ – but it wouldn’t change anything. Fri still loves Kyle, and she has said, ‘His life’s been taken and I need to be punished. But I’m not a murderer.’ And I know she isn’t.  That’s why I’m speaking out now, even though this is way out of my comfort zone. But while she’s gone, a part of me has gone, too. I want my friend back, and it feels like, with a bit of support, it might just happen.

How to stay safe


1. Make an escape plan

What’s the quickest, safest way to leave the house? Rehearse your escape plan (if you have children, make sure they know it too and teach them how to dial 999). 
Have a bag packed with overnight essentials hidden in the house or car. Arrange with a friend or neighbour to take you in if need be.

2. Have your own money

If possible, have a separate, secret account and avoid joint ones if you can. Keep change on you for emergency bus or train fares, or a phone box. If your partner has access to your online banking, change the passwords regularly.

3. Monitor your digital footprint

Store the 24-hour National Domestic Violence Helpline (0808 2000 247) on your phone, but save it under a name your partner won’t be suspicious of. Always delete your browser history. Women’s Aid (womensaid.org.uk) has advice on how to do this, as well as a Survivor’s Handbook. The safest way to access information online is at a friend’s house, a library or work.

4. Download this app… …if it feels safe to.

Disguised as a weather app, Bright Sky (hestia.org/brightsky) provides contact details for local services and advice, plus a ‘My Journal’ feature where you can keep a record of incidents in the form of photos, text, audio or video without any of it being saved to your device.

5. Identify lower risk areas of the house

These include doors to the outside, large windows and a telephone. Go to them if you think your partner is about to attack you. Avoid kitchens or garages where there are potential ‘weapons’, or small rooms or cupboards you could be locked in.

6. Know your legal rights

You can get help with temporary accommodation, an injunction, or protection for your children. Rights of Women is a free service by women for women. Call 020 7251 6577.

The forgotten women

Justice for Women was founded in 1990 to support women who had been convicted of murder after killing violent men in self-defence. Women killing their partners 
is rare. And studies of women who do so suggest it usually occurs after a long history of being abused by them – something that is often missed in court. Justice for Women has successfully overturned a number of convictions for women, including Sara Thornton, Emma Humphreys and Stacey Hyde. They’re now campaigning to free three more: Fri Martin, 25, Emma-Jayne Magson, 25, and Sally Challen, 64.

For more information, visit justiceforwomen.org.uk. For advice on supporting a friend who is experiencing domestic violence, visit refuge.org.uk/get-help-now/help-someone-you-care-about-2/

The post ‘My best friend killed her violent partner’ appeared first on Marie Claire.

These are the UK’s favourite sex positions, broken down by city

These are the UK’s favourite sex positions, broken down by city


Interesting

Whether you find hook-ups through the best sex apps, or you’ve been in a committed relationship for as long as you can remember, new research suggests that we’re all actually pretty predictable when it comes to sex. Single, committed, ‘it’s complicated’ – we’re all searching for the same three sex positions, apparently. So before you convince yourself that everyone else is having wilder sex than you are, take a look at this.

Flowercard analysed Google search data from across the UK to reveal the country’s most popular sex positions. The research found that missionary actually came out on top with 42,200 monthly searches in the UK, followed closely by doggy style (37,700) and reverse cowgirl (30,000).

favourite sex positions uk

Even more interesting, the study looked at what individual cities are looking for the most when it comes to sex positions, honing in on towns or cities with a population of over 100,000 people (according to latest government estimates). The likes of London, Brighton and Sheffield are all about keeping things simple with a bit of missionary tickling their fancy, whereas reverse cowgirl was the most popular choice in Bath, Solihull and Wigan.

favourite sex positions uk

Credit: Flowercard

Want to see how your city ranked? Take a look at the full list here:

Town/City Favourite Sex Position
Aberdeen Missionary
Basildon Reverse Cowgirl
Basingstoke Reverse Cowgirl
Bath Reverse Cowgirl
Belfast Doggy Style
Birkenhead Reverse Cowgirl
Birmingham Missionary
Blackburn Doggy Style
Blackpool Reverse Cowgirl
Bolton Missionary
Bournemouth Doggy Style
Bradford Doggy Style
Brighton Missionary
Bristol Missionary
Cambridge Missionary
Cardiff Missionary
Chelmsford Reverse Cowgirl
Cheltenham Doggy Style
Colchester Missionary
Coventry Missionary
Crawley Doggy Style
Derby Missionary
Doncaster Doggy Style
Dundee Reverse Cowgirl
Eastbourne Doggy Style
Edinburgh Missionary
Exeter Doggy Style
Gateshead Reverse Cowgirl
Glasgow Missionary
Gloucester Reverse Cowgirl
Hemel Hempstead Doggy Style
High Wycombe Reverse Cowgirl
Huddersfield Missionary
Ipswich Reverse Cowgirl
Kingston upon Hull Missionary
Leeds Missionary
Leicester Missionary
Lincoln Doggy Style
Liverpool Missionary
London Missionary
Luton Missionary
Maidstone Reverse Cowgirl
Manchester Missionary
Middlesbrough Doggy Style
Milton Keynes Doggy Style
Newcastle upon Tyne Missionary
Newport Reverse Cowgirl
Northampton Missionary
Norwich Doggy Style
Nottingham Missionary
Oldham Missionary
Oxford Missionary
Peterborough Missionary
Plymouth Missionary
Poole Reverse Cowgirl
Portsmouth Missionary
Reading Missionary
Rochdale Reverse Cowgirl
Rotherham Doggy Style
Sale Reverse Cowgirl
Salford Reverse Cowgirl
Sheffield Missionary
Slough Doggy Style
Solihull Reverse Cowgirl
Southampton Missionary
Southend-on-Sea Missionary
St. Helens Missionary
Stockport Doggy Style
Stoke-on-Trent Missionary
Sunderland Doggy Style
Sutton Coldfield Reverse Cowgirl
Swansea Missionary
Swindon Missionary
Telford Doggy Style
Wakefield Reverse Cowgirl
Warrington Reverse Cowgirl
Watford Doggy Style
Wigan Reverse Cowgirl
Woking Doggy Style
Wolverhampton Missionary
Worcester Doggy Style
Worthing Doggy Style
York Missionary

Spooning, 69 and cowgirl didn’t get as much love, indicating that we’re all pretty laid back (lol) when it comes to what we get up to in between the sheets.

The post These are the UK’s favourite sex positions, broken down by city appeared first on Marie Claire.

Lesbian sex tips for straight women could be the key to better sex

Lesbian sex tips for straight women could be the key to better sex


Think you know how to spice things up in the bedroom? Think again. From introducing toys to talking more, Kate Davies shares her handy hints on how to make sex fun again

lesbian sex

From introducing toys to talking more, Kate Davies shares her handy hints on how to make sex fun again

Talk about it

In my experience, one of the biggest differences between having sex with a woman and a man is that women tend to be more communicative during sex. Talk about what you like, give feedback during sex and make sure your pleasure is as much of a priority as his.

Show them the way

If you don’t usually come, try stimulating your own clit during penetrative sex, or getting your partner to watch you masturbate so they can see which bit you like stimulated and the amount of pressure that works for you.

Use your hands

First things first: make sure whoever is doing the fingering has short fingernails. Get them to start with one finger and work their way up. Some people are happy with just a little finger, others want a whole fist inside them. Once they’re inside you, get them to make a ‘come here’ motion, curling their fingers and pulling them forwards and straightening them out again, so that they stimulate your G-spot (the rough-feeling area of skin between the cervix and the opening of the vagina, on the front of the vaginal wall).

Take it in turns to come

It’s not realistic to expect two people to come simultaneously from the same kind of sex. Take a leaf out of the lesbian sex book and take it in turns to have an orgasm. Maybe you like to be fingered. Maybe he comes best from a blow job. It all counts.

Accessorise

Use a latex glove and lube when you’re having sex with your hands. You can buy some fetching ones from online sex shops and you might as well check out the strap-ons, harnesses and vibrators, too. Sex should be fun, so try playing with toys.

The post Lesbian sex tips for straight women could be the key to better sex appeared first on Marie Claire.

Mind the orgasm gap – how to get the sex you deserve

Mind the orgasm gap – how to get the sex you deserve


A recent survey revealed that while 95 per cent of straight men ‘usually’ orgasm during sex, just 65 per cent of straight women can say the same

orgasm gap

Here, Kate Davies, who quit hetero sex in pursuit of better orgasms and a more fulfilling love life, reveals what sleeping with women taught her

Last week, I was out for cocktails with friends when the conversation turned to sex. It’s not something we discuss that much these days – we’re in our thirties now, so we mostly talk about how stressful our jobs are and what will happen to property prices after Brexit.

But that night, there was excitement in the air. One of my friends had just hooked up with a man she’s liked for ages and we were all dying to know how things were going. We assumed they were in the honeymoon stage – the having-sex-in-uncomfortable places period – so we were stunned when she told us they’d only had sex twice in the month since they’d got together because he kept getting nervous and losing his erection. She said, ‘I’m so sexually frustrated I’ve considered masturbating with my electric toothbrush.’ Quite a lot of information for 6.45pm on a Wednesday. The others made sympathetic noises and nodded their heads. One friend said she only orgasms half the time she has sex with her boyfriend, while another said she finds penetrative sex painful because her boyfriend’s penis is massive and he doesn’t warm her up enough first. As I sat in the corner listening to them talk, I have to admit I felt a little smug. I used to go out with men, but when I was 26, I realised I was a lesbian. Today, I’m happily married to a woman, so I’ve opted out of penis-centric sex for good.

The ‘orgasm gap’ that my friends and I were discussing that night – the difference in sexual pleasure and satisfaction between men and women – is well documented. A recent study published in the Archives of Sexual Behaviour found that although 95 per cent of straight men ‘usually or always’ orgasm during sex, only 65 per cent of straight women can say the same. Other surveys reveal similar findings: according to a study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, 87 per cent of men come every time they have sex, but only 49 per cent of women concur. This isn’t that surprising, really, because 43 per cent of the men surveyed said they didn’t know how their partner achieves orgasm. Those numbers are in stark contrast to the statistics on lesbian sex – an impressive 86 per cent of women in same-sex relationships say that they almost always orgasm during sex. As someone who has slept with both men and women, those figures ring true. Why? Because by definition, lesbian sex centres on female pleasure. Women are willing to spend time and effort making sure their partners are satisfied – and lesbians usually know what a clitoris is.

Rachel Bloom, the creator and star of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, tweeted recently, ‘If I see one more TV show/movie where a woman cums easily from penetration without having to touch her clit I don’t know what I’m going to do.’ She’s right: we barely ever hear about clits in popular culture, but only 18 per cent of women can orgasm from vaginal penetration alone, so they’re pretty important.

Like many women, when I was having sex with men, I didn’t mind that much about coming during sex. I was more bothered about whether or not the guy I was with was having a good time. I lost my virginity to a boy who seduced me by plying me with whisky and reciting Keats poems. By the time we got round to the actual sex, he was too drunk to ejaculate. When he realised penetrative sex wasn’t working for him, he clambered off me and started to wank. And he kept wanking. For over an hour. While I knelt by the bed and watched. It was like being the only person in the audience for an experimental one-man show and being too embarrassed to walk out. At the end of this wanking marathon, he said, ‘I think you’ve broken my penis.’ I felt totally humiliated. I later found out he’d also slept with a friend of mine and had accused her of breaking his penis, too. Unlike me though, she had enough sense (and self-esteem) to walk out. Thinking back to that night (which I try not to do more often than I have to), what strikes me is how ashamed he was that he couldn’t come – so ashamed that he felt the need to blame me for it. But what he wasn’t ashamed about was masturbating in front of me. He had bought into the idea that his satisfaction trumped mine. Many of my other sexual experiences with men were similarly penis-centric, and I’m not alone.

When I asked my sexually frustrated friend whether she and her boyfriend had tried different kinds of sex – oral or experimenting with sex toys – she shook her head and said 
they tended to give up when he lost his erection. When I asked why, she said, ‘They don’t count as proper sex, do they?’ I wanted to scream with frustration.

‘He’d bought into the idea that his satisfaction trumped mine’

I never really got the point of sex until I started going out with women. I remember so clearly the relief I felt, that first time. I finally understood what all the fuss was about. I made her come, and she made me come, and it was amazing, by far the best sex I’d ever had. Because lesbian sex doesn’t usually involve a penis, it encourages you to be creative. You use your tongues and your hands, and you can masturbate in front of each other without anyone feeling threatened. You take it in turns to give each other an orgasm, rather than expecting everyone to come at the same time, Hollywood-movie style. And if you love penetrative sex you can buy a strap-on, one that’s the perfect size and shape for you. You could even buy several and switch them up according to your mood, like a Kellogg’s variety pack.

But is it any wonder so many women believe sex has to involve a penis? At school, we were taught that sex = penis + vagina and that if we weren’t careful, we’d end up pregnant or with a nasty STI. We practised rolling condoms on to bananas, but we never once talked about female pleasure for its own sake, or what good sex should feel like for women as well as men. 
It wasn’t until 2001 that there was an age of consent introduced for lesbians because of the assumption that two women couldn’t really have sex.

Writing in The Guardian, Labour MP Jess Phillips argued that sex education should teach what ‘healthy, happy sex looks like’, because at the moment, ‘girls and boys spend at least the first ten years of their sex lives focusing exclusively on what boys want.’ I couldn’t agree more. We also need to teach young people how sex works for lesbians, gay men, trans and non-binary people (rather than let them figure it out through porn); that sex doesn’t need to involve a man ejaculating to count. If we started thinking more creatively, we’d stand a much better chance of closing the orgasm gap.

In the meantime, lesbian sex isn’t just for lesbians. There’s nothing we do that straight couples can’t. Dildos and lube are for everyone and if you take the pressure off the penis, penis-owners benefit, too. If straight couples tried lesbian-style sex every now and then, everyone would have more fun.

The post Mind the orgasm gap – how to get the sex you deserve appeared first on Marie Claire.

Brits more likely to donate an organ than experiment in the bedroom

Brits more likely to donate an organ than experiment in the bedroom


Lol.

painful sex

With February 14th just around the corner, our attention is focused on all things love and romance. Whether you’re loved-up and heading to a fancy restaurant, or you’re a single pringle planning to down a tub of Ben & Jerry’s Valentine’s Day flavour on the sofa, chances are you plan to do something.

For a lot of people, sex is on the cards – right? Well, maybe wrong. A recent study appears to show that we’re not all that fussed when it comes to getting between the sheets. In fact, Brits are more likely to donate an organ than agree to spice things up in the bedroom.

Research by GalaBingo.com asked 2,000 UK residents in long term relationships about the ‘gambles’ we are prepared to make, or have previously made, in the name of love.

The survey found that nearly half of loved-up Brits (42%) would move abroad for their partner, and 41% would give an organ, but less than a fifth (16%) would agree to spice things up in the bedroom.

Just under half (42%) revealed they would be prepared to change their job, and a third (34%) would face a fear if it allowed their loved-one to experience something they always dreamed of.

Of the participants, twice as many men had agreed to greater sexual experimentation for their partner than women (10% versus 5%) and more men had faced a fear for their partner too (40% versus 31% of women).

Overall, the study emphasised a readiness to gamble when in love, and a high probability that it would pay off.

Karina Adrian, Head of Brand Marketing at GalaBingo.com, said: ‘As the nation’s happy makers, we thought it would be really interesting to find out just how much we’re prepared to gamble in the name of our ‘happily ever-afters’.

‘What is great to see is both the level of devotion and the heart-warming outcomes from these inspiring acts of love.’

(Just maybe not when it comes to jiggle balls.)

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White walking is coming (yes, another dating trend)

White walking is coming (yes, another dating trend)


We’re done.

Office sex
Office sex

When Game of Thrones fans hear ‘White Walking’, they probably assume it has something to do with the undead army coming for Jon Snow in the icy north.

Actually, it’s yet another dating trend – and of all of them (scrooging, cushioning, the age-old favourite ghosting) it’s pretty outrageous and we can’t quite believe that it’s a thing.

Research by dating app Plenty of Fish showed that, sadly, it is.

Remember cuffing season? It’s the time of year when people attempt to find a significant other so they have someone to stay in and snuggle with when it’s cold outside? Well, White Walking is cuffing season’s frugal cousin.

PoF describe the new dating trend as ‘actively seeking a new date for Valentine’s Day, directly linked to a cold snap or snow storm.’ Great.

In other words, some people are so very concerned with their heating bills in February – around Valentine’s Day – that they try and find a partner to keep them warm instead.

A survey of over 650 British Plenty of Fish users also showed that just under half of singletons claim they have received an anonymous Valentine’s Day gift or card (although this sounds totally made up because does anyone even send anonymous cards once they’ve left primary school?). One in five millennials admit that they’ve received Valentine’s from their parents (sad but can relate), and over a third are done with the whole thing and would tell their partner to skip the day altogether.

We’re not exactly getting into the romantic spirit, with 28% of participants revealing that they’d prefer to pretend the day doesn’t even exist, and 37% of singles believing that it’s the worst day of the year to get engaged because it’s too predictable.

Will it stop the influx of ‘I said yes!’ posts on Facebook come February 15th? Probs not.

The post White walking is coming (yes, another dating trend) appeared first on Marie Claire.

These rainbow roses are the ultimate Valentine’s Day bouquet

These rainbow roses are the ultimate Valentine’s Day bouquet


We’ll take the lot

morrisons rainbow roses
Credit: Morrisons

Valentine’s Day is coming, whether you like it or not. Loved-up? We recommend swapping expensive fancy restaurants for a posh M&S meal deal because it sounds mouth-watering. Single? Get yourself a tray of Krispy Kreme Valentine’s Day doughnuts and a tub of Ben & Jerry’s Valentine’s Day flavour and plonk yourself in front of Netflix, or go and watch Mean Girls screening in cinemas on Galentine’s Day. It’s complicated? Do all of the above.

With singing cards, heart-shaped cushions and lots of people on your commute suddenly holding huge bunches of flowers, it’s hard to ignore. And if you’re all for the more traditional Valentine’s Day gifts – chocolate, teddies, roses – we’ve got some excellent news for you.

Well, roses are no longer red. Morrisons are going one step further and selling multicoloured rainbow roses instead.

morrisons rainbow roses

Credit: Morrisons

Morrisons have partnered with LGBTQ+ youth homeless charity The Albert Kennedy Trust to launch the rose, and 50p per stem sold will be donated to the charity, which provides safe homes and support to young people who identify as lesbian, gay, bi or trans.

Morrisons florists have designed the roses so that each petal displays the colours of the rainbow.

Drew Kirk, Produce Category Manager at Morrisons says: ‘We’re stocking rainbow roses this Valentine’s day for the first time. They’ve been designed to celebrate love.’

Carrie Reiners, Director of Fundraising from The Albert Kennedy charity says: ‘We’re delighted to partner with Morrisons on their Rainbow Rose campaign for Valentine’s Day.  As the national LGBTQ+ youth homelessness charity, we are always looking to raise awareness and raise vital funds to support the work we do to provide safe homes and support to young people who face homelessness – just for being brave enough to come out to their families and communities.’

As part of their The Best range, the rainbow roses will be in store from 11th February and can be bought individually for £4.

So whether or not you have a significant other, everyone can enjoy theses pretty petals.

The post These rainbow roses are the ultimate Valentine’s Day bouquet appeared first on Marie Claire.

Almost half of women wish they spent more time with their BFFs

Almost half of women wish they spent more time with their BFFs


Relate?

30 before 30
The finale aired 12 years ago, but we can still watch Friends on repeat. Probably the most quoted show of all time, Friends nailed it with each and every episode about the mishaps of the six unlkely 20-something mates living in New York. We’re still convinced that everyone is a Monica, Phoebe, Rachel, Ross, Chandler or a Joey. And importantly, it taught us exactly what it means to be on a break.

Valentine’s Day is coming. You might have plans to spend the night on the couch tucking into some Krispy Kreme Valentine’s Day doughnuts with your significant other, or decide to make the evening a bit special with a fancy M&S meal deal. And if you’re planning to spent the night before with your BFFs for Galentine’s (thanks, Parks and Recreation), you’re not alone. Meghan Markle is (probably) doing the same, given that she won’t be spending February 14th with hubby Harry.

But as much as we love our girl friends, a new study shows that nearly half of us feel we don’t spend enough time with them.

A study conducted by personalised gift company The Book of Everyone asked 1,027 women aged 16 and over about their closest female friendships. The data revealed that women put a lot less work into maintaining their friendships compared to their romantic relationships, despite female friendships lasting longer and being viewed as more ‘honest’.

The new research revealed that on average a UK woman has six significant female friendships throughout her life, compared to three significant romantic partners, and the average female friendship span for women in the UK is 16 years – six years longer than the average romantic relationship.

Despite the longer duration and closeness of their female friendships, women are still prioritising their romantic partners. They spend 67% more time improving their romantic relationships compared to their friendships, and 30% of women say they are more likely to cancel plans with their best friend rather than with their boyfriend or girlfriend.

Kate Lever, a female friendship expert and author of The Friendship Cure, says: ‘Female friendship is one of the most beautiful, vital things in the world.

‘Female friendship is made up of gestures of love and solidarity. Together, women navigate the experience of being female: the joys, the inconveniences, the dangers. We talk about everything from family problems to pizza toppings, how to negotiate a pay rise to the latest Kardashian scandal. With our female friends we are in a safe space, where we can be our full, unfiltered and uncensored true self. Without our close female friends we wouldn’t know our place in the world.’

We’ll take that as our cue to Whatsapp the girls and get a dinner date booked in.

The post Almost half of women wish they spent more time with their BFFs appeared first on Marie Claire.